Well, it's been some days (currently it seems like an age with how much Mr. T's actions hit the headlines….) since Mr T and the president of the Ukraine clashed massively in the public eye.
I'm not going to go into any political messages here.
What shocked me even more than the content was HOW the conversation (if you can even call it that) took place.
I'm a sucker for communication.
WHY?
Because it's the MAIN "tool" of how we build and maintain relationships - on all levels (including with ourselves) - in life. And thus it's a crucial part of my core passion: Self Leadership.
When communication breaks down…well, you get similar results to what many of us witnessed that day.
So what went wrong?
- Emotions and ego got in the way resulting in raised voices and is directly related to no 2.
- Nobody listened anymore but permanently interrupted the other party(ies) thus showing no respect for each other.
- Resulting in not understanding the other person's point of view AT ALL and a complete lack of empathy.
- Powerplay and a sense of superiority were present at their worst, preventing any idea of a constructive conversation.
- Accusations and assumptions were made without giving the other person a chance to answer.
- All parties insisted on being right (meaning correct - not talking political directions here ;-)) leading to the conversation becoming completely stuck. No wonder they had to break it off.
All added up to a disastrous outcome - with potentially global consequences.
Leaving me - and many others - with a weird feeling in my stomach and in shock over what just happened.
So - WHAT happened?
You could argue that it was the different standpoints that led there.
I believe it was rather the way of HOW THEY COMMUNICATED.
Let's face it - most of us had that kind of conversations where suddenly things went pear-shaped and wondered why…often believing it was the other person's fault.
"They just don't understand".
"They did not listen".
"I know I was right".
"I did everything right…but the other person…..".
People who have those kinds of thoughts tend to be not good at communicating as they think….
Yours and my communication won't have a global aftermath (I guess….) and still will have major implications in our life...when it goes wrong.
The good news
Everybody CAN HAVE constructive, calm and respectful conversations even if they have polar opposite opinions or views.
IF they are able to regulate their emotions (not suppress them!) and know the basic (and hopefully on a leadership level some advanced) ways of successful communication.
ONLY THEN sophisticated negotiation skills come into play. But that's a topic for another time.
Communication is one of the most complex and difficult topics.
And a superpower when you master it.
THE QUALITY OF OUR CONVERSATIONS DETERMINES THE QUALITY OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS.
Most people get that wrong and believe it's the other way around - and that it's the lack of relationships that makes communication hard.
Nope - it's not.
Communication connects - or disconnects.
And this takes more than just a few "tools". Everybody who's ever learned about communication knows what I'm talking about. Those tools sound great in theory, and when applied without the right foundation, they either work sporadically or not at all.
Having noticed that communication between people has generally become sharper, more opinionated (without any desire to budge) and in many cases simply rude, I have decided to empower more people to master communication.
Why not gift it completely?
Well, I'm being completely honest here - people tend to take things more seriously when they pay for them - even if it's a small amount. Very human (I've experienced the same for myself!).
Here's what you (could) get:
- A 9-week/module course where I opened all modules right away - so you can go and pick what you're most interested in
- Everything that took me YEARS to accumulate and more importantly - understand and apply - consolidated in videos with actionable tips and tools such as the secret powers of words (and how you can use them), how to lead difficult conversations, how to regulate your emotions in the latter and how to avoid the biggest mistakes in communication and much more.
…AND you can even gift the course to others - if you believe they can benefit from it :-) (it's a little button on the checkout site, right underneath the price of a whopping 19,00 Euros FOR NOW.
That's my little contribution to potentially help more people be kinder to each other, to open their hearts and minds towards each other and to create more collaboration instead of hostility and separation.
Because I'm deeply convinced that's what we need more of in this currently extremely crazy, uncertain and unpredictable world.
Who's with me?
