Life has been hectic until the end of November, filled with training hundreds of leaders at one of the biggest financial institutions in Germany, and came to a sudden halt when my body loudly and clearly said NO to the pace with heavy bronchitis which lasted for weeks.

The forced pause resulted in quite a few epiphanies (only after massive fatigue, a zero motivation phase, far too much Netflix, a lot of (self)doubts and a bunch of worries ), the details of which I'm going to share shortly. 
 
In a nutshell, the pause created much more clarity about what I will NOT do anymore in future (both business-wise and privately) - that's as important as knowing WHAT to do ;-). 
 
It'll still be about leadership - just in a different way. 
 
More personal.
More effective.
Even more applicable in the uncertain and volatile world we're living in.

Don't believe for a second that this process was comfortable - rather the opposite. 

Lots of struggling, mixed emotions from feeling utterly lonely, frustrated, not good enough to numb - simply functioning - avoidant, acceptance, turmoil, peace and more and more  - grateful.

WHY is that relevant for you?

Well, in case...

•  you're struggling with the state of the world right now
•  you find yourself asking if you're really in the "right life". 
•  you're exhausted with your job and life.
•  you've noticed that you can't be "you" in your career and the private and professional you are two different people.
• you don't even KNOW (anymore) who the "real you" is
•  you repeat the same situations again and again (in the core- even if they look differently from the outside), like not being respected or trying to be perfect - and don't seem to be able to change it.
•  you feel the niggle that you crave a change - just don't know what you really want.

Found yourself in any of the above? 

 Well, then this IS for you.

 2025 came too quickly...

I don't know about you - but I found it challenging to jump into 2025 with full energy, passion and…any sort of plan. 

Sure - there were logical reasons. 

As mentioned, I was down with hefty bronchitis for most of December - something that has not happened to me for years and which made my holiday season VERY quiet. 

My business was down in December - something I still find unsettling and hard to accept when it happens. 

On the other side, it was not too bad, as it gave me a lot of time to reflect, to rest and to simply BE.

Of course, not without a bad feeling popping up from time to time regarding all the things I "should" be doing or planning. 

After all, the new year was approaching and what do we do then: PLANNING of course. 

Cocooning (not without any FOMO)

Instead, I was COCOONING. 

Basically pulling away from the outside world to a large degree - particularly the public one of social media (at least the active part…still looked at it), marketing and emails and only did the most necessary things to keep life running (eating, drinking, sleeping, getting the dogs and horses out and paying some bills ;-)).

Didn't do yoga.

Didn't go to the gym.

Didn't keep my house mint all the time. 

Didn't buy a Christmas tree (first time in my life).

Didn't do ANYTHING for my business.

I have to admit that reading posts and emails about starting the year with energy, plans, visions, actions, new habits - you name it - created some major FOMO and pressure. 

JEEZ - everybody is quicker and more active than me - I will miss out, I will be "left behind"!!

Having started talking to more people again I realized that this is not true. 

SO many people are tired or even exhausted.

SO many people found it tough to kick arse in January. 

And you know what? It does not matter if some DID run into 2025 with full energy and I didn't. 

So far my logical brain - the emotional part was not quite as quick to follow. 

Instead of feeling miserable and fearful, I decided to shift my perspective. 

Believe me: NOT EASY. And a process. Nothing that came up within a day - it took weeks!

The Insights

So here are the interesting effects and thoughts that came up which I'd like to share with you:

1. It's o.k. to rest if the body, mind or soul requires it. It's NOT selfish but necessary and can be quite healing in the most literal sense. Spending time in nature is a perfect regulator when things get rough. No need to hug a tree ;-), I simply take walks through the fields without distracting myself with company or the phone. 
2. A hard truth: nobody - except family and close friends even miss you when you pull back and are not present in the public world. A reality check for what is really important in life or in other words: in the professional world EVERYBODY is fairly easily replaceable - so why do we put SO much weight and pressure on ourselves?
3. The circle of people who really care and are here for me (and I dare say that this counts for most of us) is small. Incredibly valuable and they are those who would be here in a heartbeat without asking questions if I had to hide a body. 
4. Taking time out for me meant to hear myself more. My inner voice, my body, my intuition - and also seeing and feeling my fears and worries. Which meant I could listen and deal with it. Our world is so noisy and busy that more often than not we can't hear or feel ourselves anymore. Missing out on important information for major decisions. 
5. I became so aware of the fact that we as humans totally ignore seasons and cycles. Winter has always been a time to slow down. The days are shorter, it's cold(er) - at least in the hemisphere I live in and that has an effect on our bodies as well. BUT most of us ignore it and hustle even more at the year's end: Numbers to achieve, perfect holidays to be planned, etc. No wonder people get more and more exhausted (so was I)- neither our bodies nor our minds or souls are made for the kind of extremely fast speed of the world we have created. 
6. Slowing down enabled me to take a step back and look at the world from a distance. And generally, it was not a great picture. Lots of turmoil in the world on different levels, views that either go to one or the other extreme, tons of selfishness and an increase in impatience and unkindness. Yes, I can focus on the "positive stuff" - there is no denying the facts though. And it gives me far more peace to accept those things I cannot change. 
7. There is no "I've arrived" situation in life (got everything, be everything) - the journey never stops, with every new bit of knowledge, feeling my feelings, and new insights, the outlook and understanding change and there will always be something that is next level, throws us momentarily (or even for longer). And that's ok (even if I don't like it when it happens).
8. Connected to no 7: SHIT HAPPENS. And whatever knowledge and training we've had won't prevent us from falling into black holes when it does. The only difference: I can get out faster than people who don't.  
   
   The background story: In October I bought a new horse from Iceland - and fulfilled a dream I didn't know I had before. I was super excited and couldn't wait until he was here - only to find myself in the situation that he fell seriously ill two weeks later and had to spend a week in the vet clinic. Come to think of it, that was already the start of my cocooning as my focus shifted solely to this beautiful horse getting healthy again. Lots of my principles and learnings helped me - and still, I was worried sick and my thoughts went into all sorts of horror scenarios. 
9. My weeks-long break coincided with my 60th birthday. Quite a threshold to get over….and after letting the number sink in, I noticed that I'm too old for certain things: accepting unkind or selfish people in my life, saying yes to things and people I'd rather say no to, well-meaning advice to become "more effective" (i.e. getting up at 5.30 - screw that!), believing that productivity and money in the bank equal success, most of society's "shoulds" of how life is supposed to look like, letting anyone tell me how to feel (or that my feelings are unjustified), pointless arguing, racing through life and chasing goals to feel good - and most importantly: wasting my energy and give it to anything that destroys my peace.

That's A LOT. 

Not that any of the above was brand-new epiphanies for me - but this time it went deeper and didn't just happen in my thoughts but in my emotional body. 

From Overwhelm to Numb to Ignoring to Accepting

I went from overwhelmed to ignoring (can be bliss if done for a short while), being numb (a protective measure) to slowly taking it all in and accepting it (often cringe-worthy in the beginning) and becoming more peaceful.

The Essence and Beginning of Phoenixing (coming out of the ashes - but you knew that ;-))

In fact, there is ONE essence to all of the above:

The more uncertain and volatile the world around me becomes the more I crave SIMPLICITY, ALIGNMENT (with myself) and PEACE (within me...if you ever felt it you know what I mean...this feeling of quiet bliss without any thoughts disturbing it).

Instead of adding stuff, habits or tasks to my life, I rather strive to get rid of those that don't really serve me.

Making life even simpler. 

And whatever I keep (or change) has to be aligned with who I am, my values and what is important to me. 

NOT what society or other people or my sometimes misguided ego believe is right, "must" be done or "achieved". 

And for me, alignment means becoming more and more authentic. 

Jeez - what an overused word in personal development!  I have not come up with a better one though (I welcome suggestions).

The important thing is TO DEFINE what it means. 

I will do so in my next blog. You might be surprised…

Next steps

I'm still recovering.

Healthwise.

And dealing with all the epiphanies that came up.

And now turn to the changes that the above means for my coaching.

It's probably not a surprise that my work will focus on those two elements in future:

SIMPLICITY AND ALIGNMENT - in life and leadership (there isn't one without the other) to enable people to build exactly the life & career that is truthful to who they are - straight forward and with ease and peace.

I will share more about that soon. 

Enough for today - would you like to let me know if and what of the learning resonated with you most? I would love to hear from you. (simply send me an email to [email protected])