Claudia's Insights: Whatever Someone Does “to” Me, Has Nothing to Do With Me and All to Do With The Other Person.
Jan 23, 2020
Insight no 1:
Whatever someone does “to” me, has nothing to do with me and all to do with the other person.
“He never said thank you – he’s ignoring me….I’m not really important”. We’ve all been there. Someone treats us horrible, outside of our set of values or understanding. We start interpreting, put a label on the behaviour, judge, and unfortunately, the judgement often has to do with beating ourselves up on some level.
It must be me, right? Why would this person say that otherwise (or ignore me, or be rude, offensive or whatever)?
WRONG.
We all go through some struggle. So does the person we might have issues with. Most of our thoughts circle around ourselves (this is why we take things so personally!). So do the thoughts of the other person.
Their rudeness, offensiveness, negligence or dismissiveness has nothing to do with us and all with him or her. How he sees the world, what kind of challenges the person deals with.
As soon as we can distance ourselves from the “it must be me” thought, we can react completely different. The person is not out to get you (at least most of the time)! We might even develop some level of compassion – well, admittedly, this is the master-class and takes some practice ;-).
The result:
A completely new level of peace of mind, less stress and fear.
By the way, (deep) breathing helps too. As it then allows our brain to remember…hey, nothing to do with me!!
