My story...part 9, The Hiding
Dec 21, 2018
Well, I'm coming almost to the end of what I decided to tell you - this one is a really long one - AND probably the most important step on the journey.
Get yourself a cup of coffee and come along.
✨Self-explorative journeys are great - I’ve gone through a few, only one was really effective though - I’ll come back to that later.
So last time I talked about my PERSONAL VISION, which I finally got to grips with.
And the next problem that this resulted in: ➡️learning about - or better: re-connecting with parts of me that I had forgotten or ignored for a long time.
The playful me.
The ridiculous me.
The casual me.
The swearing me.
The soft me.
The lazy me.
The leaning-on-someone-me.
The big dreamer-me..
The courageous me, who speaks up.
The bubbly and YES, compassionate & spiritual me.
Jeez, these were completely new attributes I would have NEVER described myself with in the last few decades. 😳😳
➡️More likely I used words like strong, confident, pragmatic, professional, direct, impatient, efficient and effective, busy, productive & ambitious.
✨And both views are true.
Which I DID NOT like. And I squirmed. And I found it REALLY hard to be all those re-surfaced things, as they did not fit into my perception of me.
➡️😳SO, I WAS HIDING. Those parts which suddenly re-appeared.
Particularly in my business.
Remember? I talked about my missing puzzle piece Light Up…well, I believe I never mentioned that I went through a certification process to learn how I could teach and use that in my business.
And I came out being certified as an➡️ activator.
🤔What the heck is that?…yep, exactly.
To my ears that sounded…well, a bit spacey and out there.😏
So I called myself a coach.
Leadership coach
Resilience coach.
Mindset coach.
And nothing really fitted.
I took me ➡️A FULL YEAR to finally say out aloud that I’m an ACTIVATOR, not a friggin coach!! No insult intended to anyone here 🤗
This was only part of the journey. I was still desperately trying to avoid those parts of me - in my business communication. In my e-mails. In my videos.
😳STILL HIDING.
And the result was often that it took me AGES to write things like blogs or e-mails up:
- Too conversational
- Too emotional
- Too flowery
- Too direct
- Too open
- Too vulnerable
- Too many swear words
- Too..something
And you know what?
➡️This is really exhausting.
This hiding.
But hey, I was used to and had practiced that for decades.
😳And a lot of us do.
Which results in
- Office politics
- Gossiping
- Lack of trust…regardless if at home or in the office
- Resentment
- Being torn inside
- Not speaking up for ourselves
- Being too polite
- ….and finally unhappiness
“Oh, but you can’t just live all of you out in the office”, was what I heard from many people in the past - and partly in the present.
REALLY?
🤔So, we can’t be ourselves in the professional world?
BOLLOCKS.
➡️Something I chose to unlearn.
HOW though does that work?
Well, the answer is - as almost always - easy and complicated at the same time.
➡️The better we know ourselves and the more courage and confidence we can tap into when we’re connected with ourselves, the more often we will express - say and do - what is right for us.
What is our truth.
✨And get out of hiding.
✨Dare to be seen, dare to see others.
✨Addressing the elephant in the room if there is any.
✨Speaking up for ourselves when there is something not right for us (or for our team, our family).
✨Not doing what we don’t want to do, as we’d feel resentful afterwards. Going to the party when we don’t feel like it. Or taking over this favour despite the fact that we’re already over
➡️The results for me were absolutely awesome: the level of freedom and liberations that comes with being able to be ourselves is amazing.
While writing this I just took a really deep breath - as I can feel this liberation when just thinking about not hiding anymore.
Do I always succeed? Gosh, no way. From time to time I fall back into the pattern that I have learned and acquired over decades. I’m still practicing and probably will for some time.
➡️The great thing: it works for everyone I’ve worked with so far.
💥And THAT finally leads me finally to what's coming next....tbc.
PS: sorry guys - no summary this time - gotta read that through as it is the MOST IMPORTANT PART. The one so many of us get wrong. I did....but you know that, as you've read it, right?. 😉
