Relationships: IDEA #1: Honour The Individual
Jun 11, 2021
Relationships....THE most discussed topic in my sessions with my clients.
No surprise here - building and maintaining good relationships is not just a "useful" and absolutely crucial skill for any leader for achieving top results.
It even determines how happy we feel. That's not just me claiming it - it is the result of the longest-standing study of Harvard spanning 80+ years by now that confirms what we secretly (or openly) already knew all along (just google it and you'll find many links referring to it).
BIGGEST source of issues
In my line of work, I regularly experience that the most severe and time-consuming issues in business arise from the interaction between people.
And in private life. I bet you knew THAT one.
Let's face it - there is no dividing line between those two areas anyway!
On top of that, lots of people who are in a separation phase seem to gravitate to me - and talking to them about the issues of romantic relationships confirmed AGAIN that the foundation for ALL relationships is the same.
Reason enough to focus more on relationships...which I will be doing during ALL OF JUNE.
Giving you some ideas I found useful and extremely helpful.
Does that mean I never struggle with relationships?
I just deal with the struggles differently now, well, most of the time.
Here's the first idea for better relationships:
But have you ever asked yourself the question when you disagreed with someone's action or behaviour:
"Why can't he do it THAT way - I would never……(fill in the blank)".
"How can she even say that?"
"That is SO clear, why can't he understand?"
We often expect others to
Spoiler alert: They are NOT.
It's totally normal to feel angry, impatient, disappointed or frustrated in the moment our expectations are not fulfilled.
Watch the feelings, realizing where they come from (unfulfilled expectations) - and when they reside (they will if you're aware of them) do become CURIOUS.
- what do you mean by that, can you explain?
-What's your reason for doing it this way?
- Did you ever consider that.....(your chance to bring your point of view across)
Listen. I mean REALLY listen. To better understand the other person.
Allow the other person's truth to be and exist without prejudice and discrimination.
To convey the message to the other one: I see you.
Which most often results in : You see me.
One thing I can promise you - that feels really good on both sides and creates a deeper connection!
And the one who initiates this behaviour and applies this attitude shows true leadership with empathy. The latter being one of the keys of EVERY relationship.
And a fantastic foundation for further communication and connection.