Discover the surprising shift that brings more peace, confidence, and success—with less effort.
Today, I read an article about letting go (yawn… another spiritual hype word). This time, though, it inspired me to write about a phenomenon that I've experienced during the last few months without realizing it consciously at first.
I've lost the need to push through, to be the best or the fastest, the most efficient or the one who does everything "right".
That relates to
- Answering e-mails at the weekend
- Doing yoga when I'm shattered in the evening as I already spent hours outside with the horses, dogs or in the garden OR choosing the most challenging yoga session because I can
- Feeling the need to squeeze more than I can humanly get done into my daily agenda
- Getting up stupidly early to make sure everything gets done
- Never buying any "crap" food (like cheap biscuits that taste heavenly and are probably not the healthiest option)
- Doing everything at lightning speed (and secretly feeling triumphant because I'm faster than others)
- Running after every offer that promises me more wealth as a coach
- HAVING to write an article/email to you guys every week and post on social media endlessly
WHY is that?
Because I let go of stuff:
- The idea of perfection
- The caring about what others think (mostly - except a very few people in my life)
- That my self-worth is connected with what society considers "successful"
- The having to be a "good girl", being liked by everybody
- FEAR of not being loved, accepted or not belonging (again - mostly….I'm still not an island and choose to have other people in my life)
- Pretending to be someone I'm not
- The belief that productivity = value (of myself) - while I still enjoy being "productive" AND can accept when I'm not
- Putting pressure on myself or a level of urgency when it's simply not there
- Always wanting things to go my way
- The HUGE expectations towards myself (and from the world in terms of what it is supposed to deliver to me)
- The NEED of appreciation from others
- Having to prove to myself (or others) that I can do it
- Always pulling things through to the end (i.e.reading a book I stopped enjoying, finalizing an idea which turns out to be not so good half-way, projects of any sort which would be better off being stopped)
The result: A level of contentment combined with moments of utter joy and calm or - call it inner peace.
Priceless.
As the above also results in a much higher level of confidence (it's all connected - damn ;-)) and decisiveness.
I used to be very different.
Driven and proving to everybody (including myself) that I can do everything.
Have a career while being a mum of two young children, cooking healthy food at the same time, living in a nice (tidy) place, eventually building my own business, of course not forgetting staying fit, healthy and attractive at the same time. Assembling my own IKEA furniture (even if it threatens to collapse on me), cutting down trees on my own…..asking for help or leaving it was not an option.
I could continue the list - I'm sure you get the drift.
I constantly used to push through – hey, I’m strong - and often went over and beyond my actual strength.
Which was extremely exhausting.
Until I realized that I could lead without having to perform and being the best in everything.
I can't begin to tell you how liberating this is.
Still, I love to learn.
Still, I have passion for what I'm doing.
Still, I enjoy it when things go in the direction I like (i.e. when business comes in or a client has a breakthrough or major insight).
The deep desire or even ache for achievements is gone. And with it the chase of it. There is no hole to fill anymore inside of me.
Now, I simply feel an immense level of joy (which sometimes even makes me feel tear up) when I achieve something - often without even trying.
That's the strange thing: It is much easier and effortless for those outer achievements to happen when NOT pushing relentlessly.
Paradox and still surprisingly correct.
Btw., that does not mean just floating through space and "letting things happen" - that would be the other extreme.
It also does not mean giving up.
You can still have a strategy, a plan, best case even a vision (I do) and act accordingly.
So - where could you stop pushing through and still be a great (or even better) leader?
I'd love you to share - just hit reply and let me know :-).
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is to be gentle with yourself and - let go.
PS: If you feel like you'd want to let go "stuff" from the list above - let's talk. I'm offering a limited number of (free) half-hour calls which will unveil the true reason you might be stuck AND a first solution to move out of it. How can you benefit from that? Easy - just send me mail at claudia@thebetterworkplace with "Let's talk".
