Watch & Read - For Leaders Who Dare To Be Human&Real
We have all heard that words are powerful, right? Who has not listened to famous people in history triggering spontaneous outbursts in tears (or at least creating watery eyes for the tough ones amongst you) or touching us in whatever kind of format when coming out with sentences like “I have a dream” like Martin Luther King did in 1963.
There are many more modern examples of touching and motivational speeches – one of them was from Sheryl Sandberg in a Harvard Business School Class speech from 2012 where she said:
"If you want to win hearts and minds, you have to lead with your heart as well as your mind. I don’t believe we have a professional self from Mondays through Fridays and a real self for the rest of the time ... It is all professional and it is all personal, all at the very same time."
Does that resonate? Well, it does with me (in fact I LOVE this one, I could not agree more with her, which I’ve expressed clearly in this article)
So I guess we...
I tend to tell my clients , “People don't have business problems, they have personal problems that reflect in their business".
The opposite is also true - "People don't have business success, they have personal success that reflects in their business”.
For most entrepreneurs or business professionals if things don’t go in the desired direction, or it’s not growing or not progressing fast enough….they start implementing more tactics.
Or fancy tools.
Or start the 20th thing they heard about to finally get there. Hey, if that worked for others, it has to work for me too. Right?
So there is lots of “fixing” on the business side of things, and at the same time they tend to ignore the personal and emotional side of things.
Ever noticed that if we have an issue on the business side and we look thoroughly enough, we ALWAYS find that the actual reason is somehow personal? Lack of self-confidence, not feeling “good” enough,...
I bet that triggered your interest…what’s she talking about – would have done the trick for me :-).
So, I start with a spoiler and disclose the answer right away: A COACH.
In fact, at least one.
Of COURSE I would be saying that - I'm a coach myself and just want to sell my stuff, right?
Before you let judgement settle in right away, bear with me for a second (well, probably a few minutes, unless you’re one of this super readers).
Coaches that is. Not seconds.
Not because I am particularly rich or…ehmm… incapable ;-).
I will explain why in a moment – let me tell you a little story first:
My idea of building up a different and new business came up about a year ago. Even a tad before that, come to think of it.
So, I made a plan (hey, after all I AM a business woman with decades of experience), decided what I had to learn (how to build lists, how to create a course, how to shoot an effing video….and how...
The year has started so long ago that we're probably all back to normal - whatever normal means. Checking numerous e-mails, fighting through endless to-do-lists, spending hours in more or less useful meetings and the relaxed feeling from the holidays wanes off slowly - or already did.
And so we forget those maybe New Year resolutions to spend more time with the family or for us and to take care of our well-being, to have more fun and joy in our lives.
I get it - it is so easy to get sucked into those habits which we have trained well over years. Sometimes decades.
Unfortunately true the other way round too. Or more to the point, then it shifts into a very undesirable direction.
Hence I've put together a list of self-care measures. Basically to help me remembering every day. Yes. Not just once a week. Or month. Or even once a year....oh, I'll just fight through to the next holidays.
Rather not. Unless you are a masochist ;-).
So here we go...
A couple of days ago I had one of those lovely hour long drives (travel from Switzerland to Germany on a regular basis), completely on my own (love it) and was mulling some thoughts over...with that result:
I was thinking about the power of “starting at the right end” and what that really means.
So let me go into more detail what I really mean.
I worked in corporates for about 15 years, juggling hundreds of millions and managing teams across a number of countries.
Then I started my own business working with corporates, small and medium businesses and partners.
I also went through 2 failed long-term relationships.
And eventually this one thing struck me big time:
Every time when someone - or I - was stuck we, basically every time, start "problem solving" AT THE BLOODY WRONG END!
....We are going to leadership seminars without knowing how to lead ourselves.
....We learn interpersonal skills to communicate with others without even knowing ourselves or how to...
...so the title of a podcast I was listening to recently from a 20-something young chap from New Zealand who put this claim out very self-confidently and noisily.
For some reason, the headline really rubbed me the wrong way, so I was getting curious to hear what he had to say. Particularly as so many people nowadays (and probably even before that) have been asking themselves EXACTLY that question:
Who am I, really?
So I listened in to understand what this young, very successful gentleman really meant.
He was talking about how we can be we’d like to be and that – just because we grew up with believing that we are shy, introvert or boisterous or crazy or whatever label we (or someone else) put on us does not mean that this is we HAVE to be.
Contrary to some people who argue that “I’ve always been like that” or “That’s just how I am”.
This is when I got it.
He was clearly talking about our PERCEPTION of ourselves. Which can be something...
It was about a year ago when my son had just finished an internship after his high school degree. At that stage, it was clear that his plan A – studying in Scotland – had not worked out. Well, and there was no plan B.
The latter did not seem to bother him too much. Life was good. Sleeping in, making music, getting food served (well, most of the time) and supposedly not having a worry in his life.
Except for his nagging mum – me.
- Organized regular “meetings” with him, talking about how he intends to move on, giving all sorts of options
- Trained him in regards of how to organize the next and necessary steps, after he decided that studying is still the future of choice
- Set up a Kanban board with him in his room so that he could see at any time what has to be done and to remind him of stuff (even at 20, the teenage typical forgetfulness seems to be pretty prevalent).
- Had long conversations with him to help him finding his WHY
Have you ever asked yourself how those successful people consistently walk from one success to the next, make things happen?
It does not matter whether we’re talking business successes, personal fitness, health – you name it.
Well, there are tons of books and articles around about those habits which ultimately lead to success. I wrote one myself not too long ago which dealt with clarity, courage, productivity, intuition, energy and a few more factors.
Knowing why is crucial, knowing where to go to, or having productivity/planning tools in place definitely. So why is then that many of us who know all that stuff still don’t really get where we’d love to be?
Some time ago, my grown up daughter came in my room just as I was getting dressed. No top on yet. She looked at me and exclaimed with surprise, “Mum, I can see your tummy muscles, that’s almost a six pack (which is vastly exaggerated)...
Have you ever wondered why some people just crush it and walk from one success to another, perform like crazy and seem to be even happier than the rest of us?
These people must have super powers, right? They were just lucky to be born like that.
Admittedly - we are all different - which is wonderful as it is. Have you ever felt a bit neglected or disadvantaged when it comes to the distribution of the good stuff? Or felt like this world is really unfair?
Let’s face it though, nobody is born with a bad or a good attitude or great skills or lousy ones. Or with being just positive or being negative.
Even if we are happy to state exactly that “Well, I’ve always been the half-glass-empty-person, can’t help it”. “I’m just not like that”, “I don’t have these powers other people have”. In fact you can, and you have - I’ll come back to that in a moment.
Some of us might even have gone through Myers Briggs...
Have you ever felt that you’re stuck in a situation in your life? That might be in this job, we’re not enjoying anymore, but we feel like we cannot leave. It may be in a romantic relationship which seems to not to go anywhere or our health and fitness which does not get to the level where we’d like it to be.
I was definitely there – particularly on the job level and yes, also in my previous relationships. I felt like I was moving in circles and could not see any progress at all. Situations where my job left me frustrated and bored, but I felt unable to move or change.
Or, as it happened very recently that I worked and worked on my Better Workplace Project and at the same time had to deal with some personal matters…and suddenly found that I had lost track and stopped dead in the latter. I was stuck.
With the result that all this energy which drove me before evaporated and my mood reached an all time low.
No energy – no action and definitely no...